A Conversation With My Daughter

I had to have a talk with my daughter last weekend.  It wasn't about behaving, listening, chores, or any of the typical mother vs. kindergartner discussions that we usually have.  It was a topic that I didn't think we would have to discuss until puberty or, at least, the 4th grade. 

Saturday morning was the first swim class during the current session at our local YMCA.  My older daughter has class first and then the younger has class a half hour after she finishes.  If my husband and I don't divide and conquer drive separately, each with an assigned child, the family is at the Y for about two hours.  We went as a family on this day.  During my girl's class, the baby went to babysitting, husband swam in the lap lane, and I went into the main fitness center.  During the break between classes, I took EV into the fitness center to walk around the indoor track together.  After two laps of walking, my little energizer bunny decided that she wanted to run.  So she set the pace and we ran together.  When she got tired she stopped, took a quick break, then tore off around the track again.  It was a great interval workout, actually. 

During one of her "rests" she looked in the mirror-wall and said "that was a lot of running, do I look skinnier?". My jaw hit the floor.

First, my child is a little wisp of a thing.  She is long, lean, and her little muscles are well defined.  She has been built like this since birth. She's mentioned her belly being "fat" before, typically after a meal.  We always tell her that her belly may be full of food but it is definitely not fat.  We also don't call her skinny and certainly never tell her she is "too skinny" - we call her lean or slim, especially when her pants are falling down. 

I try not to make remarks about my own figure in front of the children.  My husband may hear my woes but I am consciously trying to avoid instilling the same body issues in my two girls that so many from my generation (women from all generations really) are still struggling with. 

So I looked at her and said, "Let's talk about why we exercise --- We exercise to be healthy, fit, and strong and my darling, you are looking really strong right now." Then she shot off for another lap around the track.  She also wanted to know if her hair was blowing out behind her.  I said yes.  If course she pointed out that my cropped, sweaty 'do was not at all flowing.  Thanks kid.

We will probably walk/run the track again on Saturday as she has already put in her request.  I know that this conversation is far from over but it was a reminder that as much as we try to shield our children from our own insecurities, they somehow sneak up on us.  As long as my girl strives to be the strong, brave, beautiful, fit, confident girl that I know she can be that's all I can hope for.

Happy New Year!

Did you hear that?  You have to listen closely because it's really quiet.  That's the sound of time flying by.  It just sneaks up on you and then, POOF, you find yourself in a new year wondering what happened to the last year, or five, or ten even!

Suddenly it is 2014. 

I don't make resolutions.  I gave them up 11 years ago.  Since then, I want to make changes, I start around Thanksgiving so that they are habit by January 1.  I do think that 1/1 is a good day to refocus.  The stress of the holidays is behind us and the promise of springtime is ahead.

Last year I did commit myself to becoming a better parent.  I believe that I was successful and remain in the maintenance stage of change.  While my husband and I both still have challenges (last night I wanted to bury my head and escape from my children who refused to go to sleep), I have found myself more patient, especially when dealing with my kindergartner.  In fact, I celebrated the first day of the New Year with her.  We had a special day together in New York City!  It was part of her Christmas present and I think it was really good for her.  It built her self esteem; she was deemed mature enough for a "girls" trip plus she had a special experience that was hers and hers alone. 

As a working mother, I felt that taking the time to be fully present with my oldest child for a full day away from other distractions was the best gift I could give her.  It was also a day of activity: walking the city streets and ice skating. I was active with my child, both setting a positive example for her and setting the stage for another active year.  Personally, we do have a lot planned for 2014 - from relay races to half ironman races - it should be a lot of fun!