Stages of Change - Preparation and Action

According to a survey conducted by Franklin Covey, 23% of New Years Resolutions are kept.  33% of respondents said that they are not committed to the resolutions they made.  This commitment must be there if any lasting change is to be made.  It is seen time and again ($61 Billion weight loss market).  People vow to lose weight, exercise more, and stop smoking.  Others want to get out of debt - and then they see something they want.  It takes a strong resolve to stick to change.  I'm not saying willpower, per se, but more of a decision of the course that one wishes to take. 

Enter the transtheoretical model of change.   I can usually tell you a person's likelihood of reaching a goal or sticking with a behavior change in the course of a 10 minute conversation... sometimes 2 minutes.  It all has to do with which "stage of change" someone is in.  That, and their motivation.  Not the degree of motivation rather, the source.  Most people stay in the Contemplation stage.  They think about making a change.  They know they should make a change.  They think about the steps they may take to make a change.  It takes just a little extra motivation - a level of commitment - to transition to the Preparation stage.  For example, a dieter who starts researching different plans or someone who wants to start exercising who starts to look at fitness center locations and pricing. 


Stages of Change:  Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, Maintenance

  I found this illustration too (www.engenderhealth.org) - which I think is awesome.

Last week I wrote about my desire to become a better parent.  Specifically, I need to learn how to handle my spirited pre-schooler without losing my cool.  My motivation?  I feel like scum when I lose my temper and scream raise my voice.  I want to be a better mother and feel like a better person for myself.   My children will have enough to grapple with between puberty, high school, early adulthood, that mommy issues do not need to be heaped on top. 

So I am in the Preparation stage right now.  I had been thinking about finding a parenting class for a while.  I decided to look at the schedule of classes at our local YMCA (checking out what is offered during my daughter's dance class) and I discovered that they offer a FREE parenting class.  So, I signed husband and myself up for the first session of the year.  We will meet on Tuesdays at 6:30 PM. 

This means that tomorrow night at 6:30, I will officially be in the ACTION stage! 

Happy New Year!

What a year!  2012 has been full of opportunities and there were also some disappointments.  Keeping mind that setbacks are an opportunity for growth, that's not such a bad thing.

Here is a new year - people around the world are setting goals and are excited about finally keeping their New Years Resolutions.  I have some goals for 2013 but I think the most important one is to be more patient with my soon to be 5 year old.  She is a pistol!  I've mentioned losing my patience with her in past posts and, while I've gotten better, it still wears thin sometimes.  I have other goals: physical, emotional, and faith based.  Still, I think that my children's development should be my top priority.  I have to improve myself in all those categories to be the best mom I can be.  I will still flounder sometimes.  I will raise my voice.  I will sigh in exasperation.  I will need a time out or two.  Regardless, I will continue to try to offer a supportive environment where both girls can grow into confident, self assured, vibrant, and spirited young women. 

Over the holiday season I've kept quiet, reserving the time to reflect on the past year and taking time for myself to marvel at the season through the eyes of my two small children.  I held them closely as devastating news broke - more than once.  I vowed that my girls would never go to school without hearing how much I love them.  I quietly waited for the Mayan Calendar's 12-21 "prediction" to pass.  I cooked Christmas dinner (lasagna and it was delicious).  I made my black eyed peas, collard greens, and ham for New Years Day (also delicious...and healthy!).

So here we are.  A new year.  A resolve to be a better person.  An opportunity to make it great.